The Best Damn Guacamole on Earth

Has there ever been a food that you never really cared to try, or perhaps even once hated, but now love? Well, for me…that’s guacamole. It’s not something my mom made when I was growing up, so I was never really exposed to it. Then as an adult, I would see it on the table at parties, or in the selection of toppings at Chipotle…and I just ignored it. But then a few years ago, I began volunteering at a local interactive cooking school/shared commercial kitchen called Kitchen in the Market. I had no idea my life was about to change FOREVER! During our orientation, we made some snacks to share, and I was on Team Guacamole. Not only did I learn the perfect way to cut an onion that day, but I learned a couple other valuable lessons.

The Best Damn Guacamole on Earth | Bites of Life

First, I realized you should always try something before writing it off…because you never know what amazingness is awaiting you. Next, I discovered that avocados can be to cooks what a blank canvas is to an artist—full of possibility. A standard guac recipe includes the usual suspects: avocados, lime juice, salt, and perhaps onions, cilantro and/or tomatoes but that’s like taking your blank canvas and painting it a single solid color. Ok maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, so let’s say it’s like painting a canvas a solid color and adding a single stripe…but seriously, who would want to put that on their wall? I’m no artist, but I’m about to go full-on Jackson Pollack up in this bitch, so brace yourself for a masterpiece!

Guacamole Ingredients | Bites of Life

While the above mentioned ingredients may be a suitable combo for certain situations where there are other supporting flavors at work (like tacos or burritos, for example), if you’re going to eat guac the good ol’ fashioned way on tortilla chips, I’ll just call it how it is: that shit’s too bland. You might as well save yourself the work and just mash some avocados, sprinkle a dash of salt on them, throw another over your shoulder and call it a day. See, the beautiful thing about guacamole is that inside every bowl of mashed avocados is the opportunity for greatness. I’m talking flavor fireworks in your mouth, your guests will eat that shit up, good to the last dollup sort of greatness…so it’s a missed opportunity if you just stop at avocados, lime juice, salt, onions and cilantro. Sadly, that’s what most restaurants do, but with Cinco de Mayo coming up, I thought there was no better time to share my recipe for better-than-restaurant-style guacamole! So what do you say…are you ready to seize the opportunity and up your guacamole game? If so, here’s how…

…the freshness of the cilantro, the tartness of the lime, the robustness of the onion and garlic, the heat of the chiles, and the smokiness of the chipotle and smoked salt all come together in sweet, sweet harmony…

If you can’t handle much heat, don’t get out of the kitchen…simply start with the basic mixture and add 2 critical ingredients: garlic and cumin. I’ve already professed my love for garlic, but I think cumin is a truly underrated spice, one that should be in every single Mexican recipe known to mankind…and an argument could be made that it can single handedly transform a bowl of mashed avocados into guacamole. That might also be an exaggeration, but I would at least say that guacamole just isn’t guacamole without it.

Guacamole Ingredients | Bites of Life

You may know of other guac recipes that call for canned tomatoes with green chiles. Now while that may be a convenient way to add a bit more flavor, the use of fresh, organic ingredients is not only more healthy and nutritious, but I believe your tastebuds will notice the difference and you’ll never want to reach for the can again! For those that don’t eat a lot of spicy foods, I suggest you live on the wild side and at least add a little diced jalapeño to the mix. For those that like it hot, add a little more…and maybe a serrano too if you’re feeling extra adventurous. But I don’t stop at garlic, cumin and hot chiles. Nope…I throw a few turns of fresh cracked black pepper, a couple shakes of smoked salt, a dash of cayenne pepper, a few drops of my favorite hot sauce, and then finish it off with the oh-so-glorious and smokylicious chipotle powder. It may sound like avocados, salt, cumin, and heat, heat, and more heat…but it’s amazing, and quite possibly my favorite recipe of all time. I must {not-so-shamefully} admit I once devoured an entire bowl for lunch one afternoon. 🙂 But don’t take my word for it…when some of my friends (who don’t do spicy at all) are presented with a bowl of my guacamole, they swiftly make it disappear as if they’re performing a magic trick! And if that’s not enough to convince you…well then I guess you’re just gonna have to try it for yourself! But consider yourself warned of its addictiveness.

The Best Damn Guacamole on Earth | Bites of Life

This guacamole is insanely delicious—the freshness of the cilantro, the tartness of the lime, the robustness of the onion and garlic, the heat of the chiles, and the smokiness of the chipotle and smoked salt all come together in sweet, sweet harmony, and you can taste the distinctiveness of each element in every. single. delightful. bite! That’s why I call it The Best Damn Guacamole on Earth…but to be honest, it’s truly magical and downright heavenly! It’s also really quick and easy to whip up, which makes it the perfect option for your next fiesta! Serve it with traditional/flavored tortilla chips, or for a truly healthy {and paleo} snack, perhaps fresh cucumber slices would be more your/your guests’ style. Speaking of cucumber, it’s actually a great addition to the guacamole itself, especially if you’re looking to cool it off a bit or stretch it a little farther…just chop it up and throw ‘er in! In fact, you can add just about anything: bacon, smoked salmon, pineapple, shrimp, crab…the possibilities are endless and amazing! Island boy and I often pile it atop toast with smoked salmon, grilled salmon fillets and fish or chicken burgers. How will you enjoy it? If you decide to just grab a spoon…I won’t judge!

The Best Damn Guacamole on Earth | Bites of Life

The Best Damn Guacamole on Earth
A bold & smoky guacamole with a kick of heat and fresh (no canned) ingredients.
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Total Time
15 min
Total Time
15 min
  1. 4 medium ripe hass avocados, chopped
  2. 4 garlic cloves, minced or grated
  3. 2 roma tomatoes, chopped (approximately 1 cup)
  4. 1/3 cup fresh cilantro leaves, chopped
  5. 1 small jalapeno pepper, diced fine (remove seeds for less heat)
  6. 1 small serrano pepper, diced fine (optional)
  7. 2 limes, juiced (approx 3 Tbsp)
  8. 1 small red onion, diced
  9. 1/4 tsp Celtic sea salt
  10. 1/2 tsp black pepper, freshly cracked
  11. 1 tsp ground cumin
  12. 1/8 tsp ground cayenne pepper
  13. 1/4 tsp ground chipotle powder
  14. 1/4 tsp smoked sea salt
  15. A dash of your favorite hot sauce (optional)
  16. Tortilla chips or sliced cucumber, for serving
  1. In a medium mixing bowl, add the diced avocados and mash with a potato masher or fork to desired consistency. Add the remaining ingredients and mix to combine. Taste and adjust seasoning accordingly. Add any desired mix-ins. Serve with tortilla chips and/or cucumber slices, or use as a topping for sandwiches, tacos, etc.
  1. This recipe yields approximately 3 cups of guacamole.
  2. For mild heat, use only 1/2 a jalapeno (seeds removed); for medium, use the whole jalapeno with seeds; for hot, use whole jalapeno w/ seeds + serrano (seeds removed).
  3. On-the-vine, cherry or grape tomatoes can be substituted for the romas.
  4. If you don't have smoked salt, you can make your own by smoking water-soaked wood chips in a charcoal grill and placing a thin layer of sea salt crystals on aluminum foil or an aluminum pan for an hour. I recommend using applewood and an indirect grill setup (where the coals/wood chips are on one half of the grill and the salt on the other half).
  5. If you want more lime flavor, add some lime zest (as more juice would make the guac too runny).
  6. If you have any guac left over, store it in the fridge in an airtight container. Furthermore, to keep it from discoloring, put a layer of plastic wrap or wax paper directly over the guac to prevent contact with any air.
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  1. Looks so delicious! This will be a great way for me to spice up my daily avocados!

  2. This is almost exactly how I make my guac, too! #guactwins. However, lately, I’ve been adding peach (sounds weird to most, but delicious) and using it for those fabulous Martha Stewart Triscuits – the coconut and sea salt, to be exact 🙂


    1. That’s awesome Gabriella! I’m not a huge peach fan, but I do love the sweetness that pineapple or mango adds to guacamole 🙂 Oooh, I haven’t tried those triscuits, but they sound fantastic…I’ll have to give ’em a try sometime. Thanks for stopping by!

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